Over the course of my life, my father, has always been an active and present part in my life. I have been greatly blessed to have a religious and faithful man providing, presiding, and protecting my family while growing up. Now that I am older, I have come to realize over the years what it meant to have my father living at home with my family and me. His constant presence, example, influence, and love were vital in creating a successful home. Through his example, along with my mothers, I know what it takes to create a loving and successful home were everyone can thrive and feel safe. Without any doubt, fathers are vital in the upbringing of their children and family. Not only is their presence a vital factor, but their active engagement is was builds and sustains strong family relations. There is an organization called, National Fatherhood Initiative, whose main focus is, “to improve the well-being of children by increasing the proportion of children growing up with involved, responsible, and committed fathers.” On their website, Fatherhood.org, there are many interesting articles and research data on how important it really is to have an actively involved father. Their research in fatherless homes presents statistics such as: - Poverty levels are increased four times as likely to happen - Behavioral and aggression are likely to dramatically increase - Child health will decrease - Incarceration and juvenile correction increase (as 39% if jail inmates are from fatherless ones) - Teen pregnancy and sexual activities dramatically increase, fueling the problem of fatherless homes when teenagers bare children in their own fatherless home and now it applies double fold to the child. - Drug and alcohol abuse, child abuse, and food abuse (obesity) increases - Education becomes less of a priority for those in fatherless homes which lead to all of the factors listed above. There is truth in these studies and statistics. I have seen them to be true among friends, peers, coworkers, and even total strangers. It is so important to have the influence of a father in the home, not just a mother. Both the father and the mother have different qualities and roles which help create success in the home for their family. Without one, ultimate success for everyone is nearly impossible. Through my own experience and knowledge, there are at least five important things that fathers must do to be actively involved with their children. 1. Fathers must spend quality time with their children, individually. Quality time meaning putting all your mind and effort into the moment being spent with your children, not looking at the clock; not just sitting together watching television or going for a run with headphones in both ears. Real quality time takes effort. 2. Being part of the pregnancy for all children from the very beginning. Going to all doctor appointments, feeling the wife’s belly, talking to the baby in the belly, having the wife explain how the baby is moving and how that sensation feels, having the father right next to the mother in the delivery room (no one else more important than him in the room). Being a part of the development and delivery will help the father feel and be more connected to the baby, thus being more engaged in the child’s life. 3. Making sure the father is involved in educating the children and making sure they are working hard in school. Also being involved and supportive in extracurricular activities such as sports, the arts, and service projects… Being present to all he can be present too. 4. Being a good person. A father’s example and actions speak louder than words. A man who corrects his own actions and strives to become a better man will have a family which follows in his footsteps. 5. Provide, preside, and protect his family Though no one is perfect, everyone can learn from their mistakes and become better. My father possesses every one of the five important things listed above, but only after much patience, time, hard work, and dedication. Taking a quick walk down memory lane, I want to share just a few things that come to mind when I think of the things that my father has done for me. While passing through my school years, even up through high school, dad would pack my favorite lunch (wheat thins and cheese with an apple, or, peanut butter and jelly with an apple) in a brown paper bag with a girl smiley face on the front. That little extra measure of drawing the smiley face on my lunch bag helped me know every day that he loved me because he took that extra minute to do something special for me. Another meaningful thing my father taught me was the value of hard work and self reliance. He would always tell us to work for the things we have and to not look for free hand outs. “No one gets anywhere in life if they are always looking for a free hand out.” Both my father and mother instilled in all of us the love for country, history (where you come from), and God. A lot of youth today don’t know much about where they have come from, history of this country (or the country they came from), or have a straight path to follow (religiously speaking). Without the influence and example of my father, I would be one of the people who have no passion or appreciation of where I have come from. Through his example, dad made sure I knew that I can be any worthy thing I wanted to be and that he would support me in it. When I wanted to learn to fly, he let me and was there when I first soloed. When I wanted to go into the military to the Naval Academy, he took me to all of my interviews, appointments, and visited me every month to make sure I was doing alright. Perhaps the most important thing my father taught me was have to honor God and be reverent towards sacred things. Now that I am married, our family will be increasing in number soon. Now is the time to think about how I, as a wife and soon to be mother, can make sure that my husband is actively involved in our children’s lives. Lucky for me, my husband was raised in a very religious and father-present home. He knows the importance of a father being present in the lives of his children because he experienced it himself with his own father. There are a few things that I have in mind already that I will be implementing right away once we begin having children and life gets busy with work and school. Just as listed in the five most important things I listed previously, I will make sure my husband is involved in the pregnancy from day one. I will explain to him how I am feeling, how the baby moves, put his hands and head on my belly, bring him to all doctor appointments, and have him right by my side during delivery. I want him to read the children as he tucks them in at night. As my father did with us, I would like my husband to conduct father-child interviews every month in a private area of the house to see how each child is doing in school, with friends, and life in general. As time passes and he gets busy with work and the children busy with school, I want Daddy Lunch Dates to take place where once a month dad will pick up one of the children from school and take them out to lunch so they can bond and spend time with each other in a special way. Those are just a few of many things I want my husband to do with our children. With my help, I will love make sure my husband is as involved with our children as my father was with me. By doing so, our home will be a safe heaven and temple to those who live in it, destined for triumphs, success, and happiness.