I remember being present for most of my younger brother’s birth and many memories are with me from that August night. I remember my mom having contractions on the hospital bed and the nurse administering a back rub to her lower back. When the nurse left the room, my dad was by my mother’s side trying to pick up where the nurse left off, trying to be nice but my mom didn’t agree. “Mark! You’re not doing it right! Just… don’t touch me!” I remember laughing to myself a little bit while feeling bad for my dad at the same time. Poor husbands, not really knowing what to do but trying to do something to help their wife (at least in my dad’s case).

I have never really thought about it before but I have come to know and strongly desire to include my husband in every stage of pregnancy. Throughout all the doctor appointments, putting his hands on my belly when I feel the baby moving and describing what it feels like, to pick out the baby clothes and toys, being in the hospital with me when I am in labor... the entire, and to help choose the name. When fathers aren’t involved in the process of pregnancy, it doesn’t seem as real to them as it could. By including husbands every step of the way, it helps the bond between spouses become even stronger. The bond with the parents to the baby will be stronger as well, not just the mother to the baby but the father to the baby as well.  I am so grateful that my eyes were opened to this and I am going to make sure my husband is included in all the details of our pregnancies.