From the beginning of time, within families there has always been some type of phenomenon that shapes and molds them into how and who they are as a family. Every family is different. Every family is unique. But through similar behaviors, theories have been made to help us see how families are molded and shaped into how and who they are. There are four theories that have been formed based on the study of family interaction. They are: family systems theory, exchange theory, symbolic theory, and conflict theory. While some families apply to one theory more than another, other families encompass all of the theories.

Family systems theory is looking at the family as a whole. All individuals in the family make the family what it is. Without one of the family members, the whole dynamic and feeling of that family changes.

Exchange theory is basically like, “What will I get out of it…. What’s in it for me?” Within the family, individuals are always weighing out in their minds what is in it for them, what they will gain by doing (or not doing) something. Cost vs. benefit

Symbolic theory is when meaning is attached to specific things or actions. For example, when siblings put tender notes on each other’s beds with a box / bag of candy, it is their way of saying, “I love you.”

Conflict theory is when differences in wants, ideas, etc, cause change within a family. With power struggles, and leadership.

My husband and I are definitely more symbolic theory.We often have and come up with special meanings in things that we do and they end up having a huge impact on how we identify ourselves as a couple. Like giving each other a kiss after every prayer we say together or whoever cooks dinner doesn’t have to do the dishes afterwards.

What family system can you see in your family?